Friday, May 6, 2011

Burst My Bubble

You know the 'bubble' you have?  The one that dictates how close someone can get to you without you becoming uncomfortable.  And it completely depends on who that someone is and how comfortable you are with that person. 

Here's an example.  I know certain people that no matter what your body language says, they insist on being three inches from your face when they talk to you.  I can back away from them multiple times and no matter what, when I take a step back to make myself feel more comfortable, they step forward to ensure they are no further than three inches from my face.  They are in my bubble!  GET OUT OF MY BUBBLE!!

It seems that most people are not that comfortable with the three inch distance, thank goodness!  I happen to have a pretty large bubble.  Of course it depends on how well I know someone and how I feel about someone but for the most part, it's pretty large.   I'm not sure why but I think it stems back to being teased and made fun of as a child.  Seeing me up close was not what I wanted anyone to do.  In fact, I would hide my face and stand far away from people when they talked to me.  Eye contact was also hard. 

Many times, I think your bubble size is determined by how you are raised.  Were there lots of "I love yous", hugs, kisses, physical touch in general?  If so, I would guess that you would have a smaller bubble than I do.  However, I had all of the above as a child and still have a large bubble.  This is why I think it stems back to the relentless teasing.  I was no longer comfortable in my own skin.  No matter what my mom said, the words of my peers always rang louder and more true.  It's kind of sad. 

As a result, I have never been a touchy-feely person.  I like to hold hands with Anthony and snuggle with him but it took a while to get to that point.  And I love hugging my kids and there are lots of "I love yous" passed around. 

I was never one of those girls in high school that had to hug all my friends between each class.  I always thought, what's the point?  You're going to see each other in 45 minutes again.  I thought it was weird. 

It's not that I mind a hug every now and again.  Heck, if I haven't seen you in a while and I was/am close to you at some point, I'd love a good ol' fashioned hug! 

Even so, I'm still a little uncomfortable when people look in my direction for longer than a few seconds at a time.  Anthony does this and it drives me nuts!  What are you looking at?  It's always "nothing" but I'm sure it's something.  And my mom too.  She's a starer.  LOVE YOU, MOM!!

So anyway, here I am, little ol' me with a complex that I'm pretty sure must be hereditary because even with all the hugging, kissing and words of appraisal, K is also a large bubble person, even without all the relentless teasing. 

H, however, is a bubble popper!!  Since I need to update my sidebar, those of you who don't know, she's my 5-year-old.  Such a snuggle bunny!  That girl is constantly in my face with her bubble popping hugs and kisses.  ALWAYS!  Love her to death but sometimes I just want my bubble back!  Can I have my bubble back, please? 

It's obvious that H has no bubble, at all.  NONE!  This scares me for the future... she won't be allowed to date until she's 27.  We've got to work on this bubble issue until then. 

She's also a starer and was staring at me just the other day about 3 inches from my face.  After careful observance, she informed me (after I had just been laughing at something C had done) that I am growing fangs!  And no, she didn't mean the teeth that are already in.  She was talking about up in my gums.  Apparently there are fangs growing in.  Hmmm, who knew. 

Little H is constantly bursting bubbles in our family.  K's and my large ones along with everyone else's average ones.  She even hugs strangers.  But who would she be without her bubble bursting capabilities?  Sometimes while standing in a grocery check-out line, she'll turn to me and ask if she can hug the lady behind us. 

Ummm, NO!  You may not!  Nice try... we don't know that lady. 

Scary?  I think so! 

So, tell me about your bubbles...

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