Friday, April 29, 2011

There's a chance I might be banned from Whole Foods

Before I begin divulging the details, let's reflect...

How did today go again?


It started off with a trip to the dentist for the youngsters.  The girls absolutely adore going to the dentist, truly!  I don't get it either but hey, I'm grateful for it. 

Today, however, was C's first time going.  This kid is in toothpaste heaven every morning and night when he is able to brush his teeth.  I'm pretty sure he would eat toothpaste for lunch if we let him.  And flossing... he loves that too.  Never has there been a three year old boy more into hygiene than C.  (He hates having his hands dirty and will take three showers a day if permitted.)

So, my thought was, he's going to LOVE the dentist!  I was so excited. 

Luckily, I had Anthony with me for the apparent contradiction to what was going to happen in my mind. 

C was NOT having it!  I was so embarrassed about his behavior. 

Let's just say, we still have no clue if he's got cavities, and his teeth were no cleaner when we left than when we showed up at the dentist's office.  **sigh**

But OH HAPPY DAY!! the girls all passed with flying colors.  No cavities for A and H.  K only has a tiny one but the dentist isn't even going to fill it because it's on a baby tooth which will fall out within a year anyway.  However, she does have to have one baby tooth pulled that is dead.  How does that happen?  I don't understand it but that's what they said.  I just show up for the appointments.

So, that was fun. 

And now we're on to Whole Foods.

This was my very first time at Whole Foods.  Does anyone else shop there? 

I was so excited to go.  I've been wanting to for weeks now but I've wanted Anthony to go with me.  Silly, I know but that's just how it is.  As much as I would have loved to have had a babysitter, that just doesn't really happen anymore.  So, I thought, what the heck.  We'll take 'em all! 


First of all, the place really isn't kid friendly.  It's crawling with fancy schmancy shoppers... no kids (well, maybe one or two with a parent... not five).  Second of all, I'm pretty sure it isn't Brooke friendly either.  And I think the employees might agree. 

The store entrance is right at the produce section.  We walked in and there were fruits and veggies everywhere.  There were also a bunch of bulk bins.  That's where I headed first, and that's where all the trouble began.  One man looked at us and said, "Oh wow!  I love family shopping."  Hmmm, was he being snooty?  I couldn't tell.

Anyway, as I'm trying to decide from the gazillions of bins what I want, my girls are going nuts!  K wants to scoop everything for me and the other two think it's a great idea to open all the bins and 'feel' everything.  Guess I need to let them play with rice, eh? 

The boys were in the cart but C was getting restless.  Finally, before I could gather anything more than brown rice in a super thin bag, Anthony decided to take him out to the car.  It was getting ugly really quickly!  So then it was me and four kids.  B is now getting restless too.  We'd only been there all of two whole minutes! 

I asked K to occupy B while I gathered more bulk items... almonds, dates (not the ones I wanted), and quinoa.  I can't tell you how excited I was for quinoa.  Don't ask why, I just was.  Again in the extremely thin bag, I scoop my quinoa (at the same time yelling at the two younger girls to stop touching things), shut the bin and write my bin # on my funky twisty tie thing and as I lift the bag, it catches the corner of the lid to the bin. 


Quinoa. all. over. the. floor! 

What do I do?  I put the remainder of what was left in the bag inside the bin.  I was able to keep about 1/3 of it in there.  I totally just left the bag in the bin.  How embarrassing that moment was.  Only then did I notice the 25 pound bags of quinoa on the very lowest shelf.  Of course.  Grabbed one and moved on. 

Peanut butter!  Oh yes, they had these buckets full of peanut butter that you could just scoop into little tubs.  What I was really looking for was the peanut butter you grind yourself.  Too bad they didn't have any of those cool contraptions.  So, I filled my little tub... THEN I looked up.  PEANUT BUTTER GRINDERS!  (I had tunnel vision)

Dang it!  I can't win. 

Guess what I did next... I put the tub of the other peanut butter next to the empty tubs and proceeded to grind my own. 

There's a chance that I may have jammed the machine.  You see, as it was pressing out my freshly ground goodness, I may have looked down at my kids and accidentally held my tub too high.  It couldn't flow anymore because I had blocked it with the already ground stuff.  Maybe that didn't make sense.  Well, after that it just made funny noises and wouldn't grind anymore.  Whoops!

Next was produce.  After gathering my apples, oranges and bananas, I found the dates I had been looking for... Medjool Dates!  Great, now I don't want the ones from the bins.  I was courteous enough to take them to the checkout, though, and hand them to the cashier. 

We left the store at this point as my kids were tickling my very last sane cell.  So, I don't know much more about Whole Foods than I did when I walked in.  Except maybe the produce/bulk foods department. 

I'm pretty sure they're going to watch their video surveillance and plaster pics of me all over so all employees know NOT to let me in.  That's what I would do.

No comments: